Friday, March 19, 2010

Hunter and I

I am keeping my ear trained on the door, listening for squeals, yells or barks. The kids are outside on "land mine" patrol and Koda is with them. Yesterday Koda took Boo's glove...he is a sneaky little booger.

I spent the entire afternoon with Hunter today, something that we haven't done since before his birthday, before what he likes to call "the conversation". I won't go into what that was, just that words were said by a 13 year old that made a 30 year old cry.

Not fun.

We have been working our way back to what we had before it all started, before that night, and it has been a road to take. We talked, A LOT and realized where the feelings were coming from, where the hurtful things stemmed from. It was not an easy talk, but one that we are both so grateful to have had.

My relationship with Hunter is so special, but so fragile at the same time. We have to work to stay on level ground at times, and other times it is so simple and easy.

Today is a prime example:

H: What does Boo need cleats for?
M: For softball, remember?
H: Oh...why can't I?
M: You can't ask me that...you know who to talk too...
H: Yeah...it just isn't fair.

My heart broke, but being honest is hard and the right thing to do. Yes, he wishes he could do all that Boo has had the chance to do, but it isn't something that I can fix for him, not even Hubby can. He needs to push, prod and fight for it. It stinks.

I know that 13 is an age that REALLY stinks (man the eye rolling alone...), and one that is really going to test what we have for our relationship. I know that the next 5 years are going to be HARD, harder than anything I have ever done with him before, with almost anything I have done before.

BUT, with that said...I can't wait to see the young man he has already started turning into. He is so smart, so energized by the freedoms he has learned this year. He is finding out who he wants to be, how he wants his life to go. He is starting to grow more before my eyes than ever before.

It is going to be a great year.

1 comment:

Hairline Fracture said...

Stepparenting has GOT to be tough. I mean, plain old parenting is hard sometimes, and adding in all the complicating factors of being a blended family--well, my hat is off to you, because I can tell you are doing a good job and your relationship with Hunter will be fine in the long run.